burden ,God's miracle and me

dengan tulisan aku bisa merasa lebih lega.

so plis let's me start..

sebenarnya dari kemarin aq ada keinginan untuk menulis. tapi tidak tahu knapa, i just dont feel rite. so i dont write..

kawan,

2- 3 days ago, i often complained..

sad and felt just wanna be alone to think.

now, i'm tired complaining!

seriously, complain is tiring ur soul.. (trust me, this is what i felt when i'm complaining)

Complain make u sad and pity with urself.

no new hope, no everything good.

everything seem not good.

i was rapidly through my day with asking, Why God, Why God.

my heart chained with a heavy burden.

but the other side, i always remind that God always beside me.

And before all this happen, He have told me, that He trust me i can through all of this.

He trust in me even He know i would say i cant do it God! but He trust me.

so why am i didnt trust my self?

u know what i'm feeling now?

i felt like throw out of the boat that i have been so comfort with.

i just realize Malaysia is my comfort zone.

and i didn't feel wanna leave. it's my boat!

but the same time, God did smthg that made me so sure..

He want me to stay in Indonesia this holiday. i thought He have a secret plan for me.

i still dunno yet, but i know, with all of pressure and process..

it would be spectacular plan for me. i just cant wait to figure out!! hehehe..

u see.. He gave me internship job here, he made i cant change my return date to malay.

He really insist me to stay!

how can i run? He block all my way.

and i dunno why, i just got the similar message when i read the quote/ tweet/ pastor preach..

it's all about:

a happiness is a decision not a feeling! ( really get me, when i feel sad)

"get out from your comfort zone, for Jesus sake"- John Maxwell

(its like scream at me, when my heart said plis go back to Malay, silvie)

see? i think i can't turn back. no way out. and i dont want to turn back too.

what i can do is just surrender..

Let your will be done.

God, plis give me your courage, support and joyful in my heart.

and now, i want to say ,"im ready! bring it on"

:D

understanding His plan

sometimes i amazed how got arrange who i will meet, who is gonna walking in my life.

can't describe because don't have exact words can represent what im feeling is.

i found many kind of people and thats make me learn and understand the differences.

every people have a similarity but not the same, each of them are very unique.

happy to know them. some make me learn to patience and more be understanding.

i love making a friend. may be God give me a gift to making a lot of friend.

i love that GIFT!! :D

but i also choose who is gonna my really really best friend,

that i can share and talk about my problem.

surprisedly, i found my best friend,

is the one i havent ever thought in my mind, we will be close enough to be a friend..

(apalagi best friend)

then what god turn my perspective. even though.. Her and I so different..

we complete each other as a friend. we support and learn to know what each other character.

you know, how strong the friendship can be test by problems that come over.

even we have cried, cold fight ( perang dingin), mad with each others.

but the end, we will be say sorry and thats make our friendship stronger than ever.

i learn to know exactly what she likes or dislikes, what is her character..

i know all that from 3 years friendship with her.

i trust, every people walk in my life, God have the reason.

even i didnt like that person.. and asked why GOD??

but u know sometimes God want to shape ur character through that

"u- asked- why- God- this- person- come- to- my- life"

and now, i'm realize. whatever the differences, just hold it for a while,

dont just turn away.. but HOLD IT FOR A WHILE, to see what God purpose through them for u. :)

N.T : i never regret for every person that come and go in my life. my junior & highschool friends and best friends, person who have hurt and break my heart, my first crush, my church friends, my mentor, my komsel friends, all people!!

My life it's special privilege, He gives to me..

so i enjoy it every second. :)