so plis let's me start..
sebenarnya dari kemarin aq ada keinginan untuk menulis. tapi tidak tahu knapa, i just dont feel rite. so i dont write..
kawan,
2- 3 days ago, i often complained..
sad and felt just wanna be alone to think.
now, i'm tired complaining!
seriously, complain is tiring ur soul.. (trust me, this is what i felt when i'm complaining)
Complain make u sad and pity with urself.
no new hope, no everything good.
everything seem not good.
i was rapidly through my day with asking, Why God, Why God.
my heart chained with a heavy burden.
but the other side, i always remind that God always beside me.
And before all this happen, He have told me, that He trust me i can through all of this.
He trust in me even He know i would say i cant do it God! but He trust me.
so why am i didnt trust my self?
u know what i'm feeling now?
i felt like throw out of the boat that i have been so comfort with.
i just realize Malaysia is my comfort zone.
and i didn't feel wanna leave. it's my boat!
but the same time, God did smthg that made me so sure..
He want me to stay in Indonesia this holiday. i thought He have a secret plan for me.
i still dunno yet, but i know, with all of pressure and process..
it would be spectacular plan for me. i just cant wait to figure out!! hehehe..
u see.. He gave me internship job here, he made i cant change my return date to malay.
He really insist me to stay!
how can i run? He block all my way.
and i dunno why, i just got the similar message when i read the quote/ tweet/ pastor preach..
it's all about:
a happiness is a decision not a feeling! ( really get me, when i feel sad)
"get out from your comfort zone, for Jesus sake"- John Maxwell
(its like scream at me, when my heart said plis go back to Malay, silvie)
see? i think i can't turn back. no way out. and i dont want to turn back too.
what i can do is just surrender..
Let your will be done.
God, plis give me your courage, support and joyful in my heart.
and now, i want to say ,"im ready! bring it on"
:D
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